Do you remember when I said I wanted to be a quiet girl? Hmm, I hope you do. I wrote a post here about how I adore a quiet girl, click here.
I wasn't kidding when I said: I will try to be.

Yup I've been trying my self to be a quiet one. By the quiet one I also mean a shy one. Hmm ya, I'm currently a total extrovert but I'm trying not to. It's been 3 days since I committed to actually. Now I can see a world with another view and it's good. it calms my heart.

Day 1: Monday, Septemebr 8th 2014.
Nothing changed but I started to be shy to speak in front of others. This is a nice alert! hahaha, I've almost never had any problem in public speaking before. I remember, I even was nervous when I led a meeting of Business IT Case Competition. I just didn't know how to lead.  Interesting enough. Nice beginning.

Day 2: Tuesday, September 9th 2014
I don't remember much. The only interesting part was: I didn't know how to express my feeling in Customer Relationship Management class. I love that study and its lecturer soooo much. I usually was active in class. But in this Tuesday, I feel different. My mind was filled by answers when my lecturer asked (yup, she gave students much question). Although I knew the answers, I just kept it in my mind. Hmmm I actually answered some question but I remained silent most in that class. Nice try.

Day 3: Wednesday, September 10th 2014
I felt good nowadays. I finally know how it felt not to talk much. Yeah even though I laughed much in Communication and Data Networking, I still felt like I changed. And it felt good.

You know, it's funny how people asked me what happened to me. I looked different. My eyes looked so sad. Hahaha, it always happens to an Extrovert. People will consider that something bad happened to an extrovert one when she or he remains silent.

Hopefully I can be like what I want to be and please Him, Allah Jalla Jalaluh.

Today was the second day of my 5th term in Faculty of Computer Science, University of Indonesia. I'm majoring information system there.Today I studied Customer Relationship Management, it was definitely cool. Like 2 hours aren't enough for me to listen to my lecturer. She's the best in giving student information and knowledge.

After going out of that class, I feel charged in a different way. Like, I want to be an IT consultant, a marketing expert, business analyst, or whatever related to my interest: enterprise system.
I feel like I want to work at Microsoft, Accenture, Google, Unilever or another big multi national companies. I feel like I'm going to travel around the world, meeting new people in different countries.
I feel like I want to be a career woman, like I used to want.

But somehow,
I don't want to do those things.
I just wanna be an urban mama in home, a housemaker, a woman that spends her time for her children and makes them growing to be a moslem like Rasulullaah sholallahu 'alaihi wa sallam taught us to.
I just wanna be a hafidzah: a person who memorizes qur'an, a woman who memorizes hadeeth, a mom who makes all her children to be a hafidz/hafidzah too.
I just wanna be a good woman.

I will cherish my life without  being envy to my friends who have gone to many countries for working.
Without thinking that I might have worked at Accenture like her if I chose it.
I just wanna be a good woman.

It's been hard not to let my self go into such as stream. Been hard, always hard.

Dear self,
If you read this and you are currently working at a company and being ambitious to be number one while having children, remember, you didn't want it. You never did. Take your time to realize what you're chasing for, and go back to where you should belong to.

But if you read this and you are currently enjoying your time as a housemaker, it's all what you want. don't listen to people because they will never be happy enough with whatever you do. Just please Him, please The One you want to see in Jannah.

And Dear people,
If you read this and I am currently working at a company and being ambitious to be number one while having children, just remind me that I never wanted this. Never.

But if you read this and you are currently see me enjoying my time as a housemaker, glad to know that. Don't consider me as a fool woman because I choose this way. I know what I want and you have no idea how much I wanted to do this.


Love,
Khoirun yang lagi nge-slice psd to html dalam rangka
menjadi front-end developer supaya bs kerja di rumah hahahaha.