فيا أملي ويا سكني

ويا انسي وملهمتي

يطيب العيش مهما ضاقت الايام ان طبتي

Hahahahhaa baca kitab macam ni kalo lagi gak ngerasa apa-apa emang super awkward.
It's like....... cuma bisa ketawa-tawa sendiri WKWKW.
Sepertinya penekanan orang-orang yang baca buku ini tergantung situasi hatinya.
Kalo orang yang kosong kayak gw sekarang pasti ngambil hikmahnya tentang hubbuddunya bukan hubbu hubbu lainnya huahahaha.

Todaaay bahasa arab lagi setelah 1 bulan lebih pause karena syakit *yaq lupa semua deh tuh kaidah*
Kapan ya Ya Alloh bisa bahasa arab lancar. Kapan ya bisa punya kemampuan 5 bahasa. Ya sejauh ini sih udah bahasa indonesia, enggres, bahasa kalbu, bahasa baper, bahasa alay :__)
Udah gitu aja.

Welcome back, my lady! -Siti Zahra, a male cat with female name.

Oooooo... How I really miss my room. My little tiny cutie pie room. My sweety pinky room. My love, the place where I find light and eaten by darkness. The one I share my life with, the one who knows who the real me is,

I am back!

There is, of course, deep sadness in my heart to accept the fact that I will never be permitted to go back to Indonesian Qur'an Foundation. My pesantren-kinda life with dorm mates is over. I am so broken. But I have to put my health first and do the treatment as well as possible. I will keep pursuing my dream to memorize qur'an. Likely, I will double up my private lesson and do tahfidzh program with my arabic private teacher. She is a mentor in Rumah Qur'an also. Yayness!

Dear IQF mates who read my blog, thank you is not enough for you. jazakumullahu khoyran. thank you for letting this sinful lady with bad attitudes lives with you for 1,5 months. Do not forget about me, yah. Pray for me always.... I love you all for the sake of Allah. Go catch your dreams. May we all be hafidzhoh qur'an and meet in jannah, aamiin. 

Okay I write another post for IQF specially.

So speaking of my room, it is kinda empty because I put some of my stuffs at Hanifah dorm, IQF. And I think I need to re-decorate it because I will likely spend my times more in this room since I am not permitted to do any activity besides college (plus competitions and teaching assistant role, I begged my mom for this one).

My mom is going beyond strict, LOL. I have never treated this way. I used to be a super strong girl who goes everywhere I like. But now....

• Nida you can not do anything beside college (#OKAY)
• Nida you have to go home right after class finished (#OKAY)
• Nida you can not kiss your cat (#OKAY)
• Nida you can not be near with your cat, you will get infected (#WHAT?!)
•  Nida you can not eat sambal, chocolate or blabla (#WHAT?!)
• Nida you have to eat 5 white-eggs per day (#WHAT I am going to be fatter really soon, I am dead)
• Nida you have to drink bear-brand milk 3 cans per day (#WHAT I am done with life, fat is coming)
• Nida eat this
• Nida eat that
• Nida don't you dare do diet
• etc

Khoirunnida will be a KUPU-KUPU (Kuliah-pulang-kuliah-pulang) in her last year, HA-HA-HA. And fat, really fat. My diet plan is over because I have to follow the treatment. Sadly, as planned by Noom coach, I could turn 47kg in this November huhu. But thinking how they force me to eat  a lot, I think I will be 80kg or something, GOD PLEASE HELP MEH..
It is okay lah, mau gimana lagi. For the sake of my health. For the sake of my family. For the sake of my future babies (hiks).

Anyway, I am kinda excited and scared at the same time. I am 100% a people person. I love to be with people. But, I gotta reduce my activities, which means I am going to have more time alone.

So, I am looking for a list of things to do!

I actually have a stack of dreams to reach in college, but it is so ambitious. I will still try to catch those dreams, tho. But now, I am looking for the FUN TO-DO-LIST! The kind of activities that are fun, useful, simple, not-tiring and impactful :}

I have browsed it on internet, and found some:

• http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/things-you-have-to-do-before-you-graduate-college#.cfVP7mbJ3
• http://www.businessinsider.com/33-things-you-have-to-do-in-college-2013-8?IR=T&op=1
• http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/entertainment/summer-activities
• http://www.randomthingstodo.com/funniest

But I haven't found a perfect list. Thus, I decide to create one from the scratch. Still thinking what things should I do...

Hmmm.. Do you guys have any idea? What thing should I do? 
Please comment below if you have one. XOXO.

Dear universe,

Malam ini merupakan malam pertama khoirunnida tinggal di asrama. Rasanya gimana yah.... campur aduk. Deg-degan takut nggak ada improvement, kaget, excited, sedih, dan sebagainya. Tadi ada pengajian yang temanya tentang kenapa ikut asrama ini gitu, deh.

Jujur, tadi berasa ditabok.
Kenapa ya khoirunnida ikut program ini? Supaya apa?
Supaya punya suami yang kayak gini juga? Supaya ada titel-nya nanti? Ingin dilihat manusia? Supaya pamer berasa keren apa gimana.....

Kalau masih ada di antara kalian yang masih punya niat untuk duniawi buat ikutan ini, mendingan diperbaiki dulu niatnya. Atau pulang sekalian! Buat apa kalian capek-capek berusaha ini itu jika yang dicari itu duniawi. Hidup di dunia ini fana. Semua kegiatan kita yang kita lakukan selain untuk Alloh itu fana -- said Ustadz fulan, lupa namanya.

Hiks......... khoiruuuun please luruskan niat!

Btw, pas pertama kesini.. kaget. Soalnya, kirain bakalan asrama banget gituuu ternyata asrama-nya di kontrakan gitu berapa unit. Nah, hari Sabtu kemarin kan aku sudah bawa satu koper isi baju yah, nah ngeliat tempatnya udah kaget sih.. kontrakannya agak lembab gitu padahal aku sangat ga suka bangunan lembab. Rasanya mau nyikatin seisi kontrakan banget loh beneran. Nah, tapi lumayan senang karena ada 2 kamar gitu di dalam satu pintu kontrakan. Ku kira satu kamar buat sendiri.

Eh barusan ba'da maghrib datang kesini kan yah bawa baju seabrek-abrek, ternyata....... satu kamar isinya 4 orang :"""") Allahuakbar. Tadi berasa nyessssss banget mau nangis ajaa... mau balik ke biji cengke aja rasanya......... Tapi harus kuat. Gak boleh nyerah!

Setelah meringis-meringis dalam hati, aku berasa ditabok lagi. Ternyata, ciwi-ciwi disini.......... masya Alloh :") Da aku mah apa atuh butiran debu lab fasilkom banget. Beneran deh, mereka tuh tipikal ciwi-ciwi yang muslimah sejati gitu, gimana yah syusyah dijelasinnya deh. Terus, hapalan qur'an mereka udah.................. hahahahahah beneran mau nangis aja rasanya, kayaknya khoirun deh yang paling odong. Yaudah gitu aja.

Trus disini ciwi-ciwinya tetap tertutup gitu pakaiannya walaupun dalam kontrakan. Kalo di Biji Cengke kan.......... wkwkwk ku seenaknya banget lah, jadi malu sendiri disini. Trus trus, bicaranya pada lemah lembut gitu wkwk ketawanya baik-baik, ngga kaya nida yang kalo ketemu temen kampus biasanya bisa sampe nangis ketawa-ketawa

Terus pas adzan isya, langsung pada pake mukena buat ke masjid asrama. Pas jalan, ku merasa seperti ada di pesantren! KYAA. Mana lingkungan disini tuh adem banyak pohon plus ada kolam-kolam ikan gitu, jadi berasa dimanaa gitu. Terus disini mah nggada tuh yang namanya ciwi lewat depan cowok gitu aja.

Hiks.... considering how I act in campus is just like... WOW I'm like a super bad girl :'))

Ya intinya, khoirun sangat senang dan bersyukur pada Alloh bisa berada di lingkungan seperti ini. These girls are completely cool. They don't ask for people's opinion. They are not people pleaser, they just try to please Allah only.
Ohya, Insya Allah I'll still be Nida... with the best version! ;)

Do'akan khoirun semoga tetap istiqomah, ya! Semoga niatnya lurus, semoga bisa jadi ibu yang baik untuk krucils nanti, semoga segalanya tetap lancar, semoga mama nggak shock kalo main ke kontrakan sini :>

Hi!

Wanita mana yang jam segini masih bangun sambil nangis depan laptop?

1. Wanita yang lagi ngoding tapi stuck
2. Wanita yang lagi baca opini tentang inuyasha's real love

InuYasha is the story of a dog half-demon who is constantly after a jewel of immense power, the Shikon jewel, also no as the Shikon no tama. He lives in the forest near the village where the jewel is protected by a priestess named Kikyo. Soon InuYasha and Kikyo fall in love and InuYasha promises his new love he will use it to become a full-demon. However, a bandit named OniGumo who is obsessed with Kikyo offers his body to a group of demons who inhabit it and he ceases to exist and becomes a half-demon called Naraku, who, above everything else, desires power. Naraku disguises himself as InuYasha and attacks and fatally wounds Kikyo, who then, believing her attacker was her former lover, shoots InuYasha thru the heart with a sacred arrow that puts him sleep forever or until the curse is lifted. Kikyo dies and the jewel is burned with her. However, fast-forward several hundred years into the future and we meet Kagome, a girl who lives in Tokyo at a shrine with her family. Not knowing she is the reincarnation of the priestess Kikyo she goes down one day into her family's well and then is transported thru a mystical portal to the feudal-era of Japan's history. There she meets InuYasha and frees him from his tree when the village is attacked by a demon. Having the jewel hidden inside her body, Kagome soon has it taken out and it is not long before a demon steals it and she shoots the jewel with an arrow and it shatters into thousands of peaces. Over the course of the series, InuYasha, Kagome, and the friends they come to meet battle Naraku in a race to rebuild the jewel before Naraku can use it for his own evil purposes. Will InuYasha and his allies stop Naraku in time or will Naraku triumph and become the most powerful demon to ever exist?

 Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0290223/plotsummary

Tadinya gue bikin summary sendiri, eh tapi panjang banget. Hayati keburu capek.

Nah, selama 5 tahun belakangan, gue telah menonton anime ini 7 kali, dari episode 1-167 dan 1-26 yang season Final Act! Dan nontonnya selalu lewat youtube, bayangkan berapa kuota internet yang udah gue habiskan di 5 tahun belakangan ini.
LOL what a determination.

Kenapa gue suka nonton Inuyasha?

• Ceritanya keren! PA-RAH. Gak cuma tentang romance aja, tapi berantemnya tuh juga keren. Jurus-jurusnya, weapon, semuanya deh... Suka banget sama battle-nya. Terus ada sisi friendship  dan humor juga disini. Porsinya bagus banget deh, gak terlalu sweet tapi gak boring juga
• Karakter-karakternya kuat semua. Serius deh... gimana ya, susah dijelasin. Contoh, Kagome tuh perempuan yang ceria, big-hearted, ekspresif, emosional, gitu. Kalo Inuyasha tuh orangnya gengsian parah. Kikyo tuh cold-cold gimanaa gitu diluar, impresif awalnya jahat padahal ternyata tragis banget kisah hidupnya.. Ku sedih
• Fluffy moments between the characters got me kya kya banget. Gue beneran bisa guling-guling di kasur atau gigit-gigit bantal. #SudahTerlaluLamaSendiri
• Inuyasha ganteng. Iya, maafin gue udah bilang gini. Tapi emang dia tokoh anime terganteng yang pernah gue tau. Gue juga baca manga One Piece punya Om, nonton Maid-Sama, Dragon Ball dan Toradora (+Shinchan, Doraemon, Chibi-Maruko chan hahaha), tapi ngga ada yang seganteng Inuyasha. 
• Suaranya Inuyasha bikin meleleh. Kalo dia lagi teriak "KAGOME!" saat mau menyelamatkan Kagome gitu, jantung khoirun berasa mau copot banget deh. Sweet abis aku pusing #SudahTerlaluLamaSendiri. Tapi gue gak freak sampe nyariin dubber dia siapa kok ^^
• Love story Kikyo-Inuyasha-Kagome tuh complicated abis. Menguras emosi jiwa dan raga banget lah. Tapi selain itu ada juga Kouga yang suka sama Kagome, gitudeh.

Nah pas tahun kapan gitu saat gue masih SMA, Inuyasha: The Final Act release, gue seneng banget tuh! Gue nungguin tiap minggu loh di Star World. Itu kalo udah  ada Inuyasha di TV, gilee... ada nyamuk pun gue diem aja haha..

Dan ending dari anime Inuyasha secara keseluruhan adalah:

Kikyo mati (lagi) dan Kagome tinggal di Feudal Era........ bersama Inuyasha!

Apakah mereka nikah? Sepertinya iya, soalnya Souta(adeknya kagome) bilang ke temannya "My sister is now married" gitu deh di episode terakhir.

Tapi............... gue belum puas banget sama ceritanya. I wanna see them get married! PLIZ. Setelah 12 tahun nonton animenya, ujung-ujungnya gak diliatin nikahannya tuh..... hancur hati adek
That's why, sekarang gue baca fanfiction Inuyasha mulu. Mencari-cari cerita yang bisa bikin gue kyakya #SudahTerlaluLamaSendiri

Ohya, orang yang nonton Inuyasha bisa dibagi jadi 2 kubu. Inuyasha-Kagome dan Inuyasha-Kikyo. Kalo aku sih Inuyasha-Kagome for life banget.



Entah kenapa akhirnya tadi googling gini

who does inuyasha likes the most? kagome or kikyo

Do you remember when I said I wanted to be a quiet girl? Hmm, I hope you do. I wrote a post here about how I adore a quiet girl, click here.
I wasn't kidding when I said: I will try to be.

Yup I've been trying my self to be a quiet one. By the quiet one I also mean a shy one. Hmm ya, I'm currently a total extrovert but I'm trying not to. It's been 3 days since I committed to actually. Now I can see a world with another view and it's good. it calms my heart.

Day 1: Monday, Septemebr 8th 2014.
Nothing changed but I started to be shy to speak in front of others. This is a nice alert! hahaha, I've almost never had any problem in public speaking before. I remember, I even was nervous when I led a meeting of Business IT Case Competition. I just didn't know how to lead.  Interesting enough. Nice beginning.

Day 2: Tuesday, September 9th 2014
I don't remember much. The only interesting part was: I didn't know how to express my feeling in Customer Relationship Management class. I love that study and its lecturer soooo much. I usually was active in class. But in this Tuesday, I feel different. My mind was filled by answers when my lecturer asked (yup, she gave students much question). Although I knew the answers, I just kept it in my mind. Hmmm I actually answered some question but I remained silent most in that class. Nice try.

Day 3: Wednesday, September 10th 2014
I felt good nowadays. I finally know how it felt not to talk much. Yeah even though I laughed much in Communication and Data Networking, I still felt like I changed. And it felt good.

You know, it's funny how people asked me what happened to me. I looked different. My eyes looked so sad. Hahaha, it always happens to an Extrovert. People will consider that something bad happened to an extrovert one when she or he remains silent.

Hopefully I can be like what I want to be and please Him, Allah Jalla Jalaluh.

One of my dreams to achieve is becoming a quiet girl.

I don't know why I just love seeing quiet girl, they are so mysterious, like they keep billions secrets in their mind.

A real beauty.

Some of my friends adore my public speaking skill, because I don't have to be afraid speaking in front of others. But really, I just wanna be a quiet girl, who is shy when she's asked to speak. A girl who just speaks for good. A girl who spreads calmness to others. A girl who makes other happy just by seeing her.

I might haven't been such as girl, but I will be. I will try to be.

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullaahi wabarakatuh.

This girl is finally back. Well, you know, I'm a typical blogger who only writes when I'm sad, like really. And maybe Allah gives me sucha sadness to bring me back here *nyengir*

So here I tell you some stories. Something happened with me last night, I read a line on rwitter which turned on my sadness&temperament at the same time. I know I'm no one but a girl with sins, but when an Islamic rule is played, I surely got sad....and angry. And so, this stupid girl did something without thinking twice. All you should know: Rasulullaah shollallahu 'alaihi wasallam NEVER told his ummah to do sucha thing, it was all my fault.

By then, I'm sorry, people, for every mistakes I've done. Hmm I also planned to deactive my twitter account, what always be my hesitation is: I'm going to sell some hijabs (hiks), and twitter is needed as  a marketing tool.

I'm now on the 2nd semester, and my whole life has changed since I became a college student.
1) I'm blessed with sucha manhaj, I finally know how pure Islam is. My whole questions are answered. I regret nothing at all. I...I just wanna keep it until my last breath, aamiin.
2) By having sucha way to live, all people around me start to see me different. I have heard a lot of bad talking behind me, much denial, and so on. But these all do not stop me at all. I know that this life is not permanent, I will die and will live in the hereafter, where all you've done in this world are measured. This is not easy......for sure. I'm standing up all alone, holding on... walking in silence... having a double identity.... but nothing is more beautiful than this. Maa syaa Allah.
3)You may see me as a college student who knows nothing and then taught by this way of salafussholih, and suddenly change my life. No, friends. You are wrong. I have tasted so many ways but when I found this, I couldn't give any denial.

Well, I want to give you so many stories about this, In syaa Allah later.

A sudden thought just came. by those denials, I also become a fragile girl, Al-Qawareer, as fragile as a mirror. I cry a lot, lol. If you only know how hard it is to hold on.... (I'm going to cry now but then I know I'm in my college's lab haha).

But do not see me as a victim of a manhaj. I'll never be any happier without this.
All I want is your du'a. To pray for me so that I can keep it in my heart until my last breath. Pray for me that I will not see anyone else as an enemy (because I had never). Pray for me to act and do like a muslimah should do. Pray for me to always be happy, though this might take a lot of energy. Pray for those who I love and those who love me.

This post is tijel, as usual. But then you know, a loneliness and much denial might attack me, but Allah is more than enough.

Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

(Got the link from Ghina's blog)

This 11th grade life is hard.
Take a look at me!
I'm just 16th years old and I've declared that I'm a busy girl. That's so silly.
Nida, you're not that busy.

You still can tell your stories on this blog, in fact.
You still can have your sleep on daylight.

Yeah,
eventhough in breaktime You have to go class-by-class to collect duit pulsa.
eventhough You can't go anywhere on weekend because You have to take care of your lil shop.

Think smart.
That's so cool.