Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullaahi wabarakatuh.

These recent weeks I have been asked with a same statement:

Nida berubah, ya.

If you mean I'm now different with I were used to because I dress different from what I wore, Yes I am.
If you mean I'm now different with I were used to because I now concern on what Islam really is, Yes I am.
If you mean I'm now different with I were used to because I create a distance to men, Yes I am.

Selebihnya?

I'm just the way I used to be.

I'm still the same crazy girl who loves to tell garing jokes.
I'm still the same stupid girl who kadang-kadang gak nyambung diajak ngobrol.
I'm still the same labile girl who can't decide by my own (mostly).
I'm still the same cheerful girl who loves being around with children.

I am now learning how to be more mature because I almost reach 19th dan terkadang (sering sih) masih manja hiks.

Somehow and sometimes, it hurts to hear that "Nida berubah, ya" statement. But I'm just trying to understand it as "Well Nida, you are now changing to be a better one, keep your spirit up" statement. You really should try to have a time with me, girls. Like, nothing is changed from me.

Somehow and sometimes, I also want to hang out with yo all. Kadang suka iri, seriously. Tapi hati kecil ini gak bisa bohong, gak kuat untuk gabung lagi karena....ada laki-laki. Well gue juga bukan seorang gadis idaman yang bisa jaga jarak segitunya sama laki-laki (di kampus aja masih berbaur kan), but I'm trying to minimize that ikhtilat  (bercampur-baurnya laki-laki dan perempuan) stuffs. Atau... kadang ya emang lagi gak pas aja waktunya jadi gak bisa ikut gabung hiks. Atau.... some other reasons. Qaddarallah.

Though I say for thousands that I'm not changed. You are the one who has a right to see me from the outside. All I just wanna say is:

Jika kalian benar-benar melihatku berubah secara keseluruhan, aku harap ini semua menuju Jannah-nya Allaah subhanallaahu wa ta'ala.

p.s:
gue masih menggunakan sneakers merah kesayangan yg super kece itu:))