I wish I could

22.35.00


If I had one chance to choose any life style I want, and it wouldn't displease anyone......
I would't choose the hollywood life style with its spotlights and glamours. I would't choose to be famous, having a god-damn good looking boy friend, living in a big house... in a big city. I effing don't want to have billion dollars, private jet, private island, etc. I wouldn't be happy by having million followers in my instagram account that always adore my life.
I wouldn't choose it, because I would never be happy.
If I had one chance to choose any life style I want, and it wouldn't got anyone cried........
I wouldn't choose to be a CEO of my dream company. I wouldn't choose to walk in high heels, wearing fancy blazers, feeling like a powerful woman, running the world. I think I wouldn't understand why it should be that happy to publish a biography book of mine, or having myself in inspirative talkshows. I would not choose to have a husband who owns multi national company like I were to be.
I wouldn't choose it, because I know I would never be happy.
If I had one chance to choose any life style I want, and it wouldn't hurt anyone..............
I wouldn't choose to live young and wild. No matter how I have thought how it would feel to smoke, I would still hate to smell it. I wouldn't like drinking beers, going parties after parties until the sun rises, wearing whatever I want, nor even shouting inappropriate words. I would definitely mind to have free-relationship with a particular boy I had met in club last night.
I wouldn't choose it, because I know  would never be happy.
If I had one chance to choose any life style I want, and it wouldn't make people I love injured.....
I would choose to press that reset button. I would choose to live as a truly muslim, following the sunnah of Rasulullah. I would choose not to work. I would choose to study syari'ah subjects. I would be a muntaqibah. I wouldn't mind having a small home, yes, it is home afterall. I would be really happy getting married with a hafidzahulloh. It is okay if he is not a celeb, CEO, employees, or whatever it is. I would be really okay not to have cars, big houses, etc. Because I would be the most happiest woman on earth, with family.
Eventhough I really know it would be really hard, I would like to choose that kinda life.
Because I know I would be  really happy.
I believe I could bear the pain of not having dunya. Yes, it would be so much easier than bearing the pain of not having that kinda life, like I am suffering right now. The tears and pains to dream that kinda life really hurt like......... ah I can't even describe it.
I wish I could choose. But I couldn't, because it would make people I love got hurt. And this weak girl, too, can't bear the feeling of making them sad.
I wish I could choose, Ya Rabb. I wish I could.
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This is written in a top-10-world multinational company office.
Afterall, I can't be happy with this all, tho.
 
 

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