I choose to be happy.
09.22.00
Today's sadness:
- I happened to (kinda) hit a motorcycle in front of me.
- I got very tired in the morning. The kind of tired I felt when I was about to get hospitalized last year. Scared me to the bone.
- I had a very very bad time on tanjakan parkiran Gramedia depok. It was damn embarrassing, making me want to cry (my driving skill sucks like... really.)
- I got very possessive to my friend. I was afraid my friend would leave me for another friend. I had no idea how to face life without that person's existence in my life.
- I remembered the one that got away's last words for me: do not get attached to anyone.
Today's happiness:
- I met my college friend who has the same exact personality with me. We both have agreed for a long time ago that we do have same souls. The insecurity, approval addiction, extroversion, blabla, even for humor receh too! We talked a lot. laughed a lot.
- I went to book store.
- I read good book about what I suffer. It makes me loving my self more than usual.
- One of my friend helped me during the hard time on tanjakan Gramedia. He drove my car!
- Last but not the least, I am happy that I choose to be happy and waras eventho my insecurity grows wilder tonight. Tho I am still afraid I would lose one of the best people I've met in my entire life as a friend, I realized that.. my friend deserves to be happy, to live, to befriend with anyone. I realized that I do too have friends. I accept my self for being anything less than perfect. I know God loves me for being human. And it is more than enough.
As I live more and more each day, I realize that I do not only need to improve my self, but I want to in a better way. I am trying to fix my issues. And I am pretty positive I can do this. Yes, it needs time, or might be a life-time for me. But, I will never stop trying. I promise.
Go away, negative vibes. Xoxo.
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