Another step on this road I walk.  Waiting for IELTS result made my heart pounding (of course it did). The fact that many of my seniors and friends had to take more than one test to get good result made my everything worse. I don't have much time left (and money consideration of course) to take another test. Well, after two weeks waiting,...

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All my life, I always adore intelligence over money. It is been a constant part of life wanting to travel the world for what is in my brain, not what's in my wallet. My uncle, a young Indonesian soldier, just landed in Germany, sent by TNI for a particular work there. I mean, you can go to Germany by your own money but...

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Just got home! After a whole day taking IELTS test, I am emotionally (and physically) drained. I never thought it would consume much energy like this. I was sooooooo effin stupid /starts crying/. Well, it was not as worst as my mapres interview nor APEX presentation. It's less worse than it but still.. it was baaad. First, I really was confident enough with...

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This is gonna be alright. This dunya is never meant to make you happy. You know, the one and only way to overcome your problem is to be close to God, whom You trust the most. You are not the unwanted. You are loved. His mercy is all in you since you were created. Never let the demon remove your sanity. You are not about...

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My inconsistency is scary, in which I can jump to a very extreme conclusion in one second, yet my 3 a.m thought is scarier. Pagi buta ini, gue lagi desain buat kerjaan (gile anak desain banget sekarang?!), terus tiba-tiba melihat lowongan di salah satu grup angkatan dengan job title Digital Marketer. Dang. Tanpa pikir panjang, I decided to just give it a go....

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Well, one thing I have to learn in this new year is to avoid looking back on my past. I did not think everything would be almost one-hundred percent the same as what I expected it to be. I know it sounds weird but... tho I expected it all to be like this, I did wish it would turn out opposite. Now is...

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This morning, I canceled my job interview because my soul just couldn't take anything. Again, I disassociate with people, do not feel like socializing at all, get my anxiety really high. This is hard, but not too hard because it is been a constant part of my life lol. But the problem is: how to explain to the world about what I feel....

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Baru saja melihat foto seorang kakek-kakek yang hidupnya terlunta, menunggu belas kasihan dari orang lain untuk bertahan hidup. Di saat yang bersaman, saat ini gue lagi menulis semuanya yang ada di otak gue: reasons why Indonesia has to fund my next study. Sejujurnya, setelah melihat foto kakek-kakek itu, gue merasa bullshit banget jadi orang. Apakah benar rencana after campus gue kedepannya akan berjalan?...

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