To the people who are not with anyone else,
Single doesn’t mean less-than. Single is whole. You are everything, now, in this moment: fully formed, a force to be reckoned with, all you need to be – and will ever need to be – in one perfect soul. One is a round number, remember.
Also remember that you are enough.
You are complete.
You are loved.
They’re on their way. Your person. It might not be today, though – in fact, it’s probably not today, or even tomorrow – and that’s exactly how it should be. You’re not with the person of your life because you are the person of your life. They are extra. It will happen when it happens. But it will happen.
Don’t sit and wait. Don’t simply pass the time until they arrive. You are worth a thousand more dreams than that. Continue, with full speed ahead, to be wonderful, to be you, to live, because your one? They need you to have stories. To be in full colour, already, without them, so that they can spot you in the otherwise black-and-white crowd.
And then, when you meet, finally, they’ll be so very much to say.
You’ll need days, weeks, years, a lifetime, to fill each other in on the details you have missed. And still it won’t be enough. Store up your stories for late-night pillow talk and early morning murmurs. Know that you’ll understand their life so much more, because you understand your own. You did the work to be your best self. You’ll know how to fill the spaces in your togetherness because you learned to be comfortable with your aloneness. You’ll never need them to survive.
Appreciate your solo status. What you learn now will make you even better for them. Weathering a storm of uncertainty will make you a stronger anchor for when they lose their job, and need you to be the strong one for a while. If you pay attention to the beauty of your journey – to work, through life – you’ll never be short on ways to brighten their day. Master your favourite meals to one day share, take the trips so you know where the best, hidden away spots are, look after the relationships that you do have.
Be the one you want to find, so that when the right mix of luck and serendipity explodes into a romance that you didn’t dare hope would look like this, they can marvel at your braveness. Revel in your adventure. Laugh at your worry that you thought this might not ever happen for you.
This was always going to happen for you. You were always going to go a little bit longer, a little bit further, alone, without them, in order to be ready for the love coming your way. Don’t, for one second, think that it might not happen for you. Don’t build that kind of energy around yourself, because then your person might miss you. Even the right people can fail to see through the clouds of “I’m not even looking for love, anyway.” Yes you are. Own it. Own the fact that you are so in love with your life that the only thing better than having these experiences alone would be to have these experiences to share with somebody who matters.
Admit it to yourself, and then out loud, to others.Yes, you can say, I’m not looking for love, I don’t want to scare it away, but I’m open to it. Ready for it. I welcome love into my life. Like attracts like: when you say you’re happier to be single, the universe will take you at word. Make sure the universe knows that you’re doing your best to become the person you need to be. For them. For yourself. For the love that will be your life.
And then, one day, at the grocery store or a friend’s birthday, at a work function or at a wedding, you’ll know. They will say hello, and it won’t feel like the first time. It will be the kind of hello that means “I’ve missed you, and I don’t even know you yet.” The kind of hello that isn’t a question – it will be your answer. And slowly, you’ll unfold for them, and you’ll see all the parts of them, and you’ll say a prayer to God for ever blessing you with this much good fortune.
Your one will embrace you, and they will thank you. They will thank you for holding on in there, for waiting, for not settling with something less-than when they were right around your corner, prepared to be your more-than. They’ll say thank you for trusting that it was they who would come. And every last moment of doubt will disappear like a cloudless vapor
