Hi.
Here it comes to what I am afraid of when I post good things on my blog or my twitter, or other social media I have.Someone said:

Nid, lo harusnya malu sama blog lo kalo masih gini

Jadi gini sebenarnya malam ini gue marah sama seorang anonim yang bawa-bawa nama gue di suatu post. Ya mungkin terlihat sepele bagi lo sampai lo bisa bilang gue baper. Tapi nggak buat gue, udah cukup kelewatan. So I decided to be my hero when I needed it. Gue jadi nge-gas.

Dan guess what, Khoirunnida emang sepertinya diharapkan untuk gak marah-marah ke orang.
Dear people, bukan kah gue juga mausia? Bukankah gue harusnya bisa marah? Bisa nangis? Gue bisa ngajak lo berantem? Gue bisa nge-gas kalo lo nya juga nyolot?

Urgh. I feel like a totally loser now.
Can not you just understand that I also am a human?
If you want to tell me not to be that angry, Why do you have to relate it to my blog? 
Why do not you just tell me that I am not supposed to be that angry because I am simply a muslim?

Ok, after thinking for a couple of mins.
I realize that it is all my fault to react to un-important post that way
I still believe I need to give lesson to that person, but not in the way I did.
I am a representative of a Islam and I shouldn't be that angry.......
I say too much good things but I don't even do any of them.
It will be all my fault if people see Islam bad because what I am doing.

I thought the best way to end all good images on me is by deleting all good posts in this blog.

But a couple of seconds ago, this girl just realized that it is really a bad idea.
Those posts could be my deeds, right?

But still, deep down inside, I just want people to see me as a common girl.

A girl who can fall in love.
A girl who loves to watch drama series.
A girl who cries a lot when she is watching romance
A girl who loves Inuyasha
A girl who is really sensitive she could eat you to death.
A girl who yells out to his sister next room
A girl who goes home in night
A girl who works
A girl who likes KFC so much she could eat it everyday
A girl who fails very often in baking even though she loves it
A girl who can't cook, she has to see the recipes first

I just want to be looked like that.
As a human. As a girl.

But I remember a nice lesson from my best friend. That person once experienced it and all he said was, "I am done expecting people not to expect anything from my self. I'll just let them see me from their point of view"

Yup, I can't force people to think me like who I really am.
The way you want to see me is all your choice.

If you see me as a hi-tech girl, sok atuh.
If you see me as a tijel girl, Silahkan.
If you see me as a childish one, you may.
If you see me as a smart one, there you go.
If you see me as retarded one, it is okay.

I have no right to drive your thought at all.
I'll just let you see me from your perspective.

If it is a bad one, I hope I won't be like that.
If it is a good one, I hope I will be like that.

At the end of this early morning, all I can say is

Do not see Islam the way you see me. Islam is perfect but I am not.
I am still trying to live my life as real muslimah, tho.
I need your du'a.
Hopefully I can be better and better everyday.

Ciao!