Rain is always more beautiful on you. It somehow brings up that kind of feeling, again.

This day, I went around and around, wondering if something really wonderful would happen with you. I am a desperate romantic, June. I love the idea of random collisions of heart. I want a sudden meeting rather than the conventional way. I want to feel the magic, the spark, the pulse-racing, the heart-wrenching, the feeling that my friends have. It has been always rendering me almost insane, the kind I couldn't give into easily because it already hurt like hell, before it is even lift off.

I went to that effing book store, June. I went there. I wished I could find that little box I had packed away before, but I could not. I stayed there for hours, June. I know I am pathetic. And I admit it. I effing admit it. 

But, June, my friends came to the book store to meet me. And I finally forgot to look for that little box. Later on, my mom picked me up and we had a dinner together.

And there, June, I realized that I was genuinely happy with them.

That I have so many people to love, to give, to share my happiness and sadness with, until I forget that I kinda need that little box.

June, it is all over now. All the effing drama in my head will be lapse and become silly thing I've gone through when I was young and stupid. All the hurt and confusion will fade into blackness of a memory. 

Dear, June,  I promise I will never ever wander in that bookstore again just to find that little box. I believe I will find a genuine little box in some place. Because me and that genuine little box can not be separated, like a breeze and wind. 

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HURRAY!
Finish with the short story above,
Let's go into another part!

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Alhamdulillaah. Alhamdulillaah. Alhamdulillaah. Allah has destined us to meet for the 21st time. 

Our meeting frequency now is the same like my mother when she got married with my dad.

You know what, June, it is cool and scary at the same time!

It is cool because I could be just got married with someone in this year. YES, I finally will have a reason to buy NYX soft matte lip cream shades Morocco! And don't forget to mention all the MAKE UP FOREVER products. You know what, June, it is so sad seeing my friends do make up in front of me (true story). I finally have someone to teach me how to drive safely. Or to have a kya-kya partner in memorizing qur'an, go to majelis ilm together, and another sugar things.

But, June, it is also scary because I effing have no idea about marriage things. I am just a mess. I can not cook. I barely know how to bake. Is there any man that want to have cupcake as a primary food? Plus, It might be really hard for me to just be in house. Sorry to say but I still want to be #SWAG: Single Woles Anti Galau. Living with someone I haven't lived for a second sounds scary, you know.

And guess what, June, it is really cool because I am now one step closer to graduate from my college!

I wanna study abroad! To Australia, UK, USA, Canada, or whatever country you name!

I wanna gain much knowledge there and be a good moslemah agent. I wanna join conferences, being a lecture then, having my own class, publish my journals internationally.

Yup, I wanna make my family proud of me. I wanna be the 1st one to study abroad (from my mom's family. Well, my uncle from dad studied in Dutch).

But guess what, it is also scary, June. Because I am now one step closer to the real life.

How if  I will change? How if I will be just another woman on earth who forgets Allah? How if I don't want to wear hijaab anymore because I feel intimidated outside? How if my ideology will be lapse?

Ah, June, so many things will be challenging for me. I only can dream and plan, but the one who destines my path is Allaah. 

Dear June, I pray to Allah that when I meet you next time, insya Allah,  I will always be the better and better Nida :)