Bismillaah.
Dengan menyebut nama Alloh, Tuhan semesta alam,

Ini merupakan malam kedua khoirunnida berada di asrama. Semakin mantap, insya Allah.
Saat Saya menulis post ini, ada teman-teman yang tetap terjaga mengejar target harian yang belum tercapai, ada juga yang sudah tidur, mengerjakan tugas kuliah. Sementara Saya, karena sudah bosan dengan tugas kuliah, blogging dulu sebentar.

Saat ini, khoirun kembali sadar.
Bahwa Saya bukanlah apa-apa. Siapalah Saya di mata Alloh jika dibandingkan dengan muslimah yang sholehah. Makhluk Allah itu banyak, Allah tidak butuh Saya. Namun... Tuhan hanya satu, Allah. Dan khoirunnida butuh Allah. Sangat sangat butuh Allah.

Ah, betapa iman khoirunnida naik turun.
Sometimes, she could be a super dunya-oriented girl. In other times... she feels really close to Allah.
Dan, ya... berada di lingkungan yang baik merupakan suatu kebutuhan tersendiri bagi khoirunnida yang masih lemah ini. Please pray for me............ I really need your du'a.


HEHEE udah gitu aja.
By the way, after a veryyyyy long time nggak pake gamis hitam-hitam, tonight... I wore it! Kyaaa.. I really miss my black abaya. I miss my cadar, too. I love me being a super conservative muslim. Nope, I love me following the qur'an and sunnah :'D

إن في الدنيا جنة من لم يدخلها لا يدخل جنة الآخرة (مدارج السالكين) لابن القيم 1/488

Sesungguhnya di dunia ini terdapat surga, barangsiapa yang tidak memasukinya, maka ia tidak akan memasuki surga akhirat.

Love,
Khoirunnida

Dear universe,

Malam ini merupakan malam pertama khoirunnida tinggal di asrama. Rasanya gimana yah.... campur aduk. Deg-degan takut nggak ada improvement, kaget, excited, sedih, dan sebagainya. Tadi ada pengajian yang temanya tentang kenapa ikut asrama ini gitu, deh.

Jujur, tadi berasa ditabok.
Kenapa ya khoirunnida ikut program ini? Supaya apa?
Supaya punya suami yang kayak gini juga? Supaya ada titel-nya nanti? Ingin dilihat manusia? Supaya pamer berasa keren apa gimana.....

Kalau masih ada di antara kalian yang masih punya niat untuk duniawi buat ikutan ini, mendingan diperbaiki dulu niatnya. Atau pulang sekalian! Buat apa kalian capek-capek berusaha ini itu jika yang dicari itu duniawi. Hidup di dunia ini fana. Semua kegiatan kita yang kita lakukan selain untuk Alloh itu fana -- said Ustadz fulan, lupa namanya.

Hiks......... khoiruuuun please luruskan niat!

Btw, pas pertama kesini.. kaget. Soalnya, kirain bakalan asrama banget gituuu ternyata asrama-nya di kontrakan gitu berapa unit. Nah, hari Sabtu kemarin kan aku sudah bawa satu koper isi baju yah, nah ngeliat tempatnya udah kaget sih.. kontrakannya agak lembab gitu padahal aku sangat ga suka bangunan lembab. Rasanya mau nyikatin seisi kontrakan banget loh beneran. Nah, tapi lumayan senang karena ada 2 kamar gitu di dalam satu pintu kontrakan. Ku kira satu kamar buat sendiri.

Eh barusan ba'da maghrib datang kesini kan yah bawa baju seabrek-abrek, ternyata....... satu kamar isinya 4 orang :"""") Allahuakbar. Tadi berasa nyessssss banget mau nangis ajaa... mau balik ke biji cengke aja rasanya......... Tapi harus kuat. Gak boleh nyerah!

Setelah meringis-meringis dalam hati, aku berasa ditabok lagi. Ternyata, ciwi-ciwi disini.......... masya Alloh :") Da aku mah apa atuh butiran debu lab fasilkom banget. Beneran deh, mereka tuh tipikal ciwi-ciwi yang muslimah sejati gitu, gimana yah syusyah dijelasinnya deh. Terus, hapalan qur'an mereka udah.................. hahahahahah beneran mau nangis aja rasanya, kayaknya khoirun deh yang paling odong. Yaudah gitu aja.

Trus disini ciwi-ciwinya tetap tertutup gitu pakaiannya walaupun dalam kontrakan. Kalo di Biji Cengke kan.......... wkwkwk ku seenaknya banget lah, jadi malu sendiri disini. Trus trus, bicaranya pada lemah lembut gitu wkwk ketawanya baik-baik, ngga kaya nida yang kalo ketemu temen kampus biasanya bisa sampe nangis ketawa-ketawa

Terus pas adzan isya, langsung pada pake mukena buat ke masjid asrama. Pas jalan, ku merasa seperti ada di pesantren! KYAA. Mana lingkungan disini tuh adem banyak pohon plus ada kolam-kolam ikan gitu, jadi berasa dimanaa gitu. Terus disini mah nggada tuh yang namanya ciwi lewat depan cowok gitu aja.

Hiks.... considering how I act in campus is just like... WOW I'm like a super bad girl :'))

Ya intinya, khoirun sangat senang dan bersyukur pada Alloh bisa berada di lingkungan seperti ini. These girls are completely cool. They don't ask for people's opinion. They are not people pleaser, they just try to please Allah only.
Ohya, Insya Allah I'll still be Nida... with the best version! ;)

Do'akan khoirun semoga tetap istiqomah, ya! Semoga niatnya lurus, semoga bisa jadi ibu yang baik untuk krucils nanti, semoga segalanya tetap lancar, semoga mama nggak shock kalo main ke kontrakan sini :>

Dear Universe,

Remember about biji cengke? Yap, the swag name of house where I live with my college friends.
Well, tonight I just got my "farewell party" with my housemates. We had it because I am about to move to an islamic dorm. It's actually still at Depok, near with biji cengke. But still, it's kinda sad.

You know,
Eventho I've lived with them in 6 months only, they are like my family. They know every single thing about my habit. Time I usually wake up, the way I handle stress, the way I laugh so hard because of funny videos, the way I dress in home, meals I eat, etc.

And it's kinda sad to leave Biji Cengke because they make me feel like a college girl! I mean, we talk about self-delusion thingy, about things we hate, about lipsticks, about dresses. We laugh for stupid little things, We watch absurd videos, We mock each others, We throw pillows to each other, tabok sini tabok sana, We did laundry together, We were panic together when Nando knocks the door but we don't wear hijaab, We do college tasks together, We stay late at night talking about feelings, We ask each other whether we look pretty or not, We talk about pregnancy and the scary giving birth scenario, etc.

Now, I gotta leave.
It's not that I perceive Biji Cengke as a bad environment for me. No, they are really good.
But it's because I gotta leave to reach my dream.

Maybe, I will change in some aspects. But I will still be Nida. I'm just trying to be the best version of Nida :)

Here are some sayings Biji Cengke-ers say to me:

Nid, Kelakuan lo yang bener ya disana. Awas aja, sampe ngga bener, gue seret balik ke biji cengke. Semoga lo dapat room mate yang nggak judgmental deh, ya.

Nid,  nanti gue curhatnya sama siapa? Lo kan selalu ada buat gue, Nid. Nanti yang ngomelin gue siapa? 

Nid, nanti gue tidur bareng siapa? Ah lo maaah gituu jahat lo nid. Yaudah tapi khoirun baik-baik ya disana. 

Ka Nida pindah?! Yaaah ka nidaaaa... ko gitu? 

Nid, kayaknya lo ga bakalan betah deh di asrama. Apalagi jauh gitu kan? Sini aja uda 

Hihihi.
Here are some words for biji cengke-ers. You know lah ya buat lo yang mana :P

Dear you, believe that you are a great girl with so many skills. You can nail everything, okay? You are good leader. Please believe in yourself like I always believe in you. I'm still here for you, when you need to share your stories, just let me know. Tell me in campus, or via whatsapp, line, etc. Okay? Promise me you will be better also. Wash dishes regularly, ya? :)

Dear you, I wish you can sleep alone. No more nightmares, okay? Since I'm leaving, you can't ndusel-ndusel with me anymore when you're having a bad dream, kan? :P I adore you for your hard works, your fierce mind, and your cuek action towards everything. It's really awesome having someone cuek like you, because what people say to you don't matter for yourself. Keep being like that! Hopefully "that creepy one" will stop staring at you, ya hahaha! Wish you the best for life! Plus, take care good of your room :)

Dear you, You are so cool you know! I can say it because you don't feel like you're getting attached to a particular man because you wanna reach your dreams first. You're sweet outside, fierce inside banget laaah. Hopefully, you can meet someone who fits you so damn good. I believe the right time will come. Yaa, eventho you dislike nikah muda and you always ask me why I wanna get married young, I believe you'll be a good wife and a good mom! Please jangan dobrak pintu rumah lagi :P

Dear you, a really really sugar girl. Your determination is really awesome. Your sleepless nights, your tiring morning will be paid off. You will be a really successful woman insya Allah :) We might not get along each other too close due to your busy days and nights, but I see you as an inspiring girl! You're still young, you're just like my little sister. Wish you the best for your study! Don't mind those gak penting boys who tries to attract you :p Just focus on your dream, girl! Ohya, kalo kak nida wisuda, datang yaa bawain bunga LOL

Dear you, the one who is really really kind in so many aspects of life. Thank you for always listening to my stories, for always being there. You got that kinda USA mind, but you can manage it. You do know how to filter information.  So cool! And hey, I just want to say it again and again, you-deserve-someone-who-loves-you-for-who-you-are. You don't have to force yourself so hard. Because you will never be enough for the wrong man. Yap, I believe that you will catch all your dreams and meet the right one, in the right time! Yuuk ngaji bareng, tjoi ;)


Love youuu, Dila-Dindo-Intan-Reade-Viny! Take care of Biji Cengke, girls! See you in campus :P