Nidi's online diary.

Not now

, by Khoirunnida

Right now you’re feeling insecure. You are feeling like you’re not good enough; pretty enough; smart enough; or just plain enough. You’re feeling like you try so hard, but sometimes it’s not good enough.

In your heart, you know that you are capable of so much. It’s not that you don’t love yourself, but you’re just not feeling completely “yourself” at the moment. I want to remind you of a few things. I want to remind you are that are so kindhearted, and that people value your friendship and the love that you give. I want to remind you that you are loved by so many people, even when they don’t always remind you of this themselves. I want to remind you that you are an incredible person and that you contribute so much to this world with your unique talents, gifts, and personality. I want to remind you that there is nobody quite like you in this world. And that is a thing to cherish.

It’s okay to feel insecure; insecurity is a natural feeling. But darling, don’t let it take you over. Please stop comparing yourself to others. Believe it or not, the people that you compare yourself to also compare themselves to others at time, and probably have compared themselves to you! We all get insecure, and sometimes we all don’t feel like we are enough. Please know in your heart that these differences between you and others are what makes our world such a wonderful place to live in. Dearest You, please value your uniqueness and never wish you were born a different way. You are God’s creature. And He made you enough.

Know that you are so beautiful. No, I’m not talking about just your looks. I’m talking about your inside. You have so much to offer, and anyone would be lucky to cross your path in their life. You are kind, gentle, thoughtful, funny, and fun to be around. People leave this world better because of you. Do you know how special that is? That your presence contributes to a better world? My dearest You, why have you forgotten that? In the end, the only thing that matters is how you made others feel.

Dearest You, I want to ask a favor of you. Please think back to when you felt most proud of yourself. Was it when you were graduating college? When you had your first born child? When you earned your dream job? I would like for you to go back in that moment when you felt invincible. Hold that memory close to your heart. Remember how capable you are of changing the world and how unstoppable you are. Insecurity is nothing but a few negative thoughts that drag you deeper and deeper down the more that you let them bother you. I would like for you to remember a positive experience that will lift you back up from those depths and remember how much you love yourself.

Dearest You, I know you can rise above this. Don’t let a hardened heart prevent you from being wonderful You. Shake off those feelings. The world is yours for the taking. But only if you believe in yourself.

I know that deep in your heart, you know your worth. You just needed to be reminded of it.

Love always,

You

http://inspirationindulgence.com/2015/05/26/a-letter-to-you-when-youre-feeling-insecure/

0Comments

, by Khoirunnida

In life and dreams,

Before 23.

0Comments

, by Khoirunnida

It is all about trusting Him.

Hi,

It is been a quite long time since the last time I shared some story here.

First thing first, my condition is waaay much better than weeks ago. It is just that.. I know, my happiness depends only to Allah and all I have to do to be happy is by.. getting closer to Him, The Almighty One.

Gue sempat mengalami middle-level galau (lol) beberapa minggu lalu, ketika gue sangat takut melihat masa depan. Everything looked just soo uncertain. And I was afraid of it, so much it hurt. I cried and cried. Tapi sekarang, setelah gue berusaha untuk mengembalikan pikiran gue menjadi lebih jernih.. mendekatkan diri lagi ke Allah.. gue tau kalo hidup memang penuh ketidakpastian. Dan yang paling penting, gue tau hidup gue sudah digariskan semuanya oleh Allah. Yang gue lakukan adalah berikhtiar dan usaha aja... gak perlu takut sama sekali. Tawheed pokoknya.

The middle-class galau I talked was about: (1)education-career and (2)spouse.

(1) Gue gagal beasiswa luar negeri kominfo kemarin, di tahap terakhir. I was sooo close in getting a frikkin scholarship. But, I failed. Tdinya gue udah seneng banget karena gue tau timelien hidup gue akan sesuai dengan rencana gue selama ini. Gue harusnya berangkat kuliah september, 2 tahun kemudian balik ke Indo, cari kampus buat ngajar, nikah. kelar, deh! (loh hidup gue emang se-sempit kepingin jadi seorang anak, istri dan ibuk yang baik aja sih HEHEHE).

Daan, karena gue gagal.. timeline hidup gue otomatis berubah kan yah. Nah, gue tadinya galauuu banget gitu pokoknya. gatau kenapa emang talbis iblis deh subhanallaah banget. Tapi sekarang, insya Allah udah gak galau lagi. Gue akan menjalankan plan B gue yang emang udah dari dulu gue punya. Dan kalo gak bisa juga kuliah ke Belanda, yaudah... gapapa di Indonesia aja. Pokoknya yang mana yang terbaik bagi Allah aja sekarang mah. Setelah gue pikir-pikir, Allah tuh emang tau yang terbaik bagi gue. Kemarin, mungkin niat gue untuk mau study abroad itu terlalu selfish dan terlalu worldly. Gak ada value sama sekali buat akhirat kelak deh kayaknya. Makanya, harus dibenahi untuk kedepannya.

Besides, ultimate goals of my life are to be anak, istri dan ibu yang sholehah. Udah gitu doang gak muluk-muluk :))) Keinginan gue untuk mengajar ya emang cita-cita gue juga sih... supaya ilmu bermanfaat.. dan supaya ultimate goals gue itu tercapai. Tapi, being a lecturer kan ya gak harus kuliah di luar negeri. (walaupun gue sangat teramat ingin... tapi yaaa balik lagi.. terserah Allah mau gmn. gue hanya ikhtiar dan do'a sekuatttt yang gue mampu).

I know.. I sound like a very very close minded girl. Tapi, beneran, I just think that I am the type of such as woman yang sukanya di rumah (males apa gimana sih wkwkwk).

(2) Yaaa yaa I know harusnya gue udah berada di level dimana gue mikirin permasalahan dunia ini tanpa galauin ginian. Tapi gimana, dong? I am just a hopeless romantic girl. I want to love someone, in a very romantic way (u can puke if u want)! In 2 weeks ahead, I am going to be a 23 years old girl. Dan, tanda-tanda kedatangan habibae sangat sangat sangat nihil. Disamping itu, my trust issue towards men haven't been fixed well, yet. I am SCARED to be betrayed. seriously. it is harder than it sounds.

Tapi, setelah gue mencoba belajar lagi tentang tawheed, hiks.. alangkah semua jawaban itu udah ada di qur'an dan sunnah. gue hanya perlu cari orang yang agama dan akhlaq-nya baik. the one who gievs me certainty. the one who can treat me well because he knows Rasulullah taught him to. the one who will ask me to learn kutaab. the one whose days are filled with ayatul qur'an. the one who loves family. the one whose goals are jannah, not this worldly life.

Yup, I just need to be a good woman because I know Allah pairs good woman with good man, too.. insya Allah. Nah, permasalahannya, kenapaaaaa sampai sekarang masih begini aja hidup gak ada yang meningkat hmm... hahahaha gapapa dehh. smg habibae terima all my weirdness LUVV.

Intinya, Problem solved. aku tenaaaang banget rasanya sekarang. mudah ya solusinya, as simple as trusting everything to The One Who Creates Me :')

Ahh... Ya Rabb..

hidup sebagai manusia overthinking seperti aku emang haruuus sering-sering baca qur'an, sering-sering denger nasehat ulama dan asatidz agar hati ini tetap teguh. agar aku teruuuuus sadar kalo dunia ini mah hanya tempat persinggahan aja.

Alhamdulillaah beberapa hari lagi Ramadhan datang insya Allaah.

Cepatlah dataaang wahai bulan penuh kebaikan.... hati ini butuh kamuuu :')

udah gitu aja curhatan bulan ini.

Xx.

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, by Khoirunnida

In a road I walk,

Of failure and life

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, by Khoirunnida

Pages

Not now

A letter to me.

Before 23.

It is all about trusting Him.

Of failure and life

Who I am

Where to Find Me

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Not now

A letter to me.

Before 23.

It is all about trusting Him.

Of failure and life

Who I am

Where to Find Me

Recent Posts

Labels

Blog Archive

Popular Posts

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