Of pregnant friends and life.
07.09.00
2nd update today.
Gaining my inner peace back, somehow.
This afternoon I visited one of my close friends who's hospitalized (for the third time in these last 3 months) because having Hiperemis Gravidarum. More like a long&intense morning sickness for pregnant people. WHOA! Now my pregnant friends are 3 and yang baru lahiran satu.
Meanwhile, tadi siang gue malah sedih sama diri sendiri yang selalu mikirin omongan orang dan bla-bla-nya mengenai karir kedepan. Hadu. Kapan mental you mau grow mature. Yasyudah.. life is begini emang. just let everything be, lah. (lho udah good vibes lagi aja gue.)
There are a lot of lessons I got by seeing my friends starting their family. It makes me questioning my self: am I ready?
Idk. there are still a lot of things to get done, to catch, to learn. i don't think i am mentally mature to start one right now.
Ohya salah satu hal yang gue notice BANGET adalah: how important it is to have a more mature spouse. Parahsih, suami kak dewi benar-benar suportif abis. rela bolak-balik RS-kantor to help her gitu. sama juga dengan pasangannya Sheren yg udah lahiran. Gue benar-benar melihat dngan mata kepala sendiri bagaimana drama breastfeeding itu terjadi di hari kedua bayi lahir.
/kyaaaa/ /t e r k e j u t dengan realita/
Yaudah, intinya cuma mau bilang sama diri sendiri kalo masalah beasiswa, master study, dan karir itu hanyalah segelintir dari cerita kehidupan. Further events will be happened (biidznillah), and you got to prepare for everything.
a higher-level insecurity: will I be a good mom?
I pray so.
and, for my kids who might read this in years ahead,
i love you, anak-anak ibu. with all of my heart.
(crying)
Xx.
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