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In life and dreams,

What I do when I turn anti-social

I am so weird asf, like I am a fully 100% extrovert but PERIODICALLY, I don't feel like socializing at all. But also feel like wondering if there is also anyone who can understand me. But also, at the same time, I don't feel like trusting anyone too. I am so complicated hu hu hu. I am a mess. So, here are the...

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In life and dreams,

Dua Hari Pertama

Saya-ketinggalan-rombongan-kondangan-ustadzah-Een-ke-Tasik. IN WHICH I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WEEKS. Kenapa sih saya harus sebodoh ini? Period cramps, terus nangis, terus ketiduran, terus bablas. Gak ngerti kenapa saya bodoh banget. Saya kangen banget dengan teman-teman IQF padahal :'( Hu hu saya emang suka aneh-aneh kalo lagi period cramps. Adaa aja plan yang gak accomplished. Gak cuma itu, saya juga gak ngerti dengan kebiasaan saya...

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In self-reminder,

If I die

"Mukmin itu rindu kematian, karena ia akan panen apa yang selama ini ditanam." :"( :"( :"( Khoirun masih takut kematian itu akan datang, karena..... hari-harinya masih terisi banyaak kemaksiatan, banyak dosa. :"( :"( Kalo khoirun meninggal suatu saat, ku harap kalian akan terus mendo'akanku. ...

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In self-reminder,

Meninggalkan sesuatu karena-Nya

إِنَّكَ لَنْ تَدَعَ شَيْئاً لِلَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ إِلاَّ بَدَّلَكَ اللَّهُ بِهِ مَا هُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكَ مِنْهُ “Sesungguhnya jika engkau meninggalkan sesuatu karena Allah, niscaya Allah akan memberi ganti padamu dengan yang lebih baik.” (HR. Ahmad 5: 363.) IHRISH 'ALA MAA YANFAUKI, KHOIRUN!!!!! :") ...

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In beautiful poems-lyrics-and quotes,

Thank you, Lone wolf.

I love the way she survived. Survival looked good on her. There were no dark marks under her eyes. Maybe deep inside. But I liked the way she looked throughout them and laughed at life. She did it gracefully. She'd walked over glass and through fire, but still smiled. And, honestly, I am not interested in people who haven't lived and died a...

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In skripsi nido,

Writing undergrad thesis - Chapter One

Just received an email from my thesis advisor. He said.......... my writing is a mess. Well, I actually thought the revised one will be like so awesome but according to him, it still is a mess :)) LOL Why do I think like I am sooooo smart when I am not even smart at all?! I think I know I will never be...

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In life and dreams,

Bye, pills :')

One of many weirdness of my extroversion is, I always ended up crying if there is any one give me supports by heart. Now, I am currently crying because a loooot of friends are helping my thesis. Not only that, they give me very supportive words, which really touch my heart. This reminds me of the old days, when I got a kinda...

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In self-reminder,

Angan-Angan Dusta

"Semoga kruiclsnya ibu dijauhin Alloh dari TV dan youtube yang udah makin gak bener dari hari ke hari"  – said Nida, sambil ketawa-ketawa bego nontonin Pewdiepie di youtube. "Semoga krucilsnya ibu dijauhin Alloh dari musik"  – said nida, sambil joget-joget dengerin Foster the People. "Semoga krucilsnya ibu dimudahkan Alloh untuk bisa jadi hafidz Qur'an, hapal hadits, matan kitab-kitab, dll"  – said nida, yang setoran...

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In life and dreams, list of my life

Reasons to love my self (this week)

This week, I am too hard on my own self, til I don't realize that I actually am deserved to be loved! Here is why: I was brave enough to read 9 parts of famous horror stories on Kaskus. ALONE! I spent some hours to learn FB ads for my thesis' data gatehering I decided to attend a seminar about how to be...

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In life and dreams,

Kotak nasi

Sudah tepat seminggu pikiran gue dihantui oleh kotak nasi. Sebenarnya yang salah bukan kotak nasi, tapi overreaction gue terhadap kotak nasi. Semuanya jadi terlihat runyam, menurut pandangan gue. Tiap hari juga gue nanya ke  teman, "eh sebenarnya dia marah nggak sih?" dan pertanyaan gue pasti dijawab dengan: "gatau" "au ah! itu mulu yang ditanyain" "engga marah kali dia, lo aja yang lebay" "dia...

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In self-reminder,

Tabungan Untuk Akhirat

Sedih banget. *setelah seharian mikirin mau beli mobil apa ya kalo punya uang*. Bisa-bisanya diri ini masih jadi budak dunia. Mikirin mau beli rumah aja sampe seriuuus banget terus planning nabung berapa lama. Padahal, ibadah aja gak diplanning sampe se-detil itu. Harusnya mah fokus sama akhirat. Khoirun hidup cuma sebentar di dunia. Kalo khoirun punya rumah 1 hektar, punya uang banyaak banget, mobil juga...

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In self-reminder,

Biar Susah Sungguh,

Too many sins I've committed, too many steps of syaithon I have followed. Yup, when we fight against our own selves, it will hurt. like a lot. I still feel like a common girl sometimes. I want to do what everyone else seems to do. But i know it is wrong. I know it really is. Even God warns me not to get...

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In life and dreams,

Post interview process

Punishment: Satu kebodohan khoirunnida di minggu ini. Just had an english interview dalam rangka pemilihan mapres fasilkom. Ada banyak kesalahan dari ini semua: SATU, Si bodoh khoirunnida berani-beraninya loh daftar mapres fakultas. NGGAK-TAU-DIRI. DUA, Seperti biasa, dia kalo lagi grogi itu bisa lebih bodoh dari apapun di dunia ini. Sebodoh itu. Kehilangan semua vocab bahasa inggris. Gak bisa ngapa-ngapain.  Gak tau lagi harus...

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In list of my life,

What makes me happy (this week)

Alhamdulillaah for He has been blessing me right until this second. Besides all the happiness I got every single second from Him, this week I had some special moments that really make me happy. Alhamdulillaah Alhamdulillaah Alhamdulillaah. I went to tabligh akbar with a best friend of mine! Love her for the sake of Allaah. Hopefully we can be a good friend til...

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In life and dreams,

You lose, I win

Basically how I handle life: 7:40 PM: Fine and remain happy! 7:50 PM: Starts feeling super sad 8:00 PM: Emotionally sobbing, having mental breakdown, feeling soo lonely 8:03 PM: Starts writing a super emo blogpost 8:10 PM: Realize how shitty the post is. Laugh. Back with happiness! 8:12 PM: Feeling totally happy! To the darkness that always tries to eat me, Sorry. You...

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In list of my life,

Why I cry (this week)

I heard steps behind me at midnight when I slept alone in college building I had to stay overnight in campus just to attend tabligh akbar in the next morning. In other words, kabur dari rumah I saw a lady like me attending tabligh akbar with her parents. I was jealous I saw a baby elephant died on my FB newsfeed I watched...

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In skripsi nido,

It's ok to progress slower

Dua hari kemarin, skripsiku terasa sangaat berat. Bukan hanya karena aku masih harus membagi fokus dengan karya tulis untuk hal lain, namun karena progress skripsiku berjalan sangat lamban. Padahal, alhamdulillah, awalnya lajuku sangat pesat. Model penelitianku sudah jadi lebih dahulu dibandingkan teman-teman yang lain di grup bimbingan. Tapi saat pengumpulan data......... progress-ku seperti kura-kura. Jalannya lambat. Penelitian ini datang dari kemauanku sendiri. Aku...

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